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The year was 1875. The place was a cow town known as Lasso, Kansas.
Naked, Sheriff Danny Perkins was laying on a cot against the wall opposite from the five jail cells in the back of the Sheriff's Office. He had earlier kicked the covers off the bed so that his pretty, bare naked ass could be seen should anyone look.
W.C. Hunstow was the only prisoner in the jail. He had been arrested the night before, for drunk and disorderly conduct. He had some money in his pocket from a cattle drive. He had hoped to spend some of that money on a prostitute at Mr. Pups Saloon and Dance Hall but he had gotten into a fight with another cowboy before he had the chance to visit one of the girls upstairs. Now, in the far cell W.C. with a black eye and a bloody lip snuggled beneath a single sheet. Every once in a while he would glance at the Sheriff's nice, firm butt. He considered the last Dance Hall Girl he'd paid for sex didn't have an ass that pretty. He guessed that he was drunk enough so that it did not much matter how ugly the woman was.
Lester Badly walked with a stiff leg. He entered the Sheriff's office. He opened the door to the cell area and glanced at Mr. Perkins on the cot. "Such a pretty ass." Lester then closed the door and went to fix some coffee.
At the sound of the closing door Sheriff Danny Perkins woke. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He stretched. Naked he stood up and rubbed his hairy balls. W.C. Hunstow eyed the handsome Sheriff. Sheriff Danny Perkins opened the door to the front of the Sheriff's Office. Naked he strolled up next to Lester Badly.
Lester looked Sheriff Danny Perkins up and down. His eyes fixated on Danny's nice cock.
Lester said, "Danny, why don't you put some damn clothes on before you come out here. You know every time I see you naked I get a boner."
Sheriff Danny Perkins smiled. He touched Lester on the chin. "I am not going to suck the spit out of your worm. Don't even think about again asking me to do such a thing." Sheriff Danny smiled. He thought he'd never tell Lester how tempted he was to give into his urges and get Lester where he could fuck him in the man business. Smiling, Danny thought it would be nice to fuck Lester so hard that it would be more than his stiff, crippled, leg that would give him trouble walking.
"Now Mr. Perkins, you know if you get me all worked up you should be willing to do something about it."
"I just don't think it would good if we became romantically involved."
"Well, Mr. Perkins I am not talking romance. I am talking about fucking your mouth hard and rough. I am talking about gagging you on my big cock. I am talking about filling your mouth with so much cum you would not be hungry for dinner."
"You seriously need to find yourself a man or woman who likes sucking cock. To be perfectly honest I prefer women to men, but in the man area I am more a pitcher than a receiver. I am more of a top than a bottom."
"Now Mr. Perkins, you know that no one talks like that in the 1800's. Sometimes I swear you have a language all of your own."
"Well, my language is no more weird than that first time when you asked me to blow your bugle. I thought you had a real bugle you wanted me to play."
"Whatever. Put some damn clothes on. My cock is getting so hard I could use it as a tray."
Sheriff Danny Perkins gave Lester a "yeah, right" look and then fixed himself some coffee. With coffee in hand Mr. Perkins walked back to where he had fresh clothes to put on.
Just as Sheriff Danny Perkins made his exit, Hestus Longjohn entered the Sheriff's Office.
Lester Badly said, "Hey Hestus." Lester asked, "How is it hanging?"
Hestus said, "Judging from the tent in your pants, not as hard as your worm is hanging? I think we could use your hard worm to lynch a midget."
Lester giggled. "Midgets are funny. Can you imagine a midget as a horse thief and the horse kicks the midget and he flies through the air like he has been shot out of a cannon. Then he lands in a pile of horse manure." With his arms folded almost in a hugging fashion, Lester smiled. "I just love midgets."
Through Lester's pants Hestus squeezed the head of Lester's cock. "So Mr. Perkins was naked out here in the office again."
"Yeah, he makes me so horny."
Hestus said, "He is a nice looking man but you know I am not so bad. Why don't you and I go fishing sometime."
"I don't know. What do you have in mind?"
"Well, you know. You be the fish and swallow my worm and then I will be the fish and swallow your worm. After we've squirted our stuff, then we can do some real fishing. What do you think?"
"I haven't swallowed anyone's worm since your Uncle Jack Longjohn came to town."
"You had Uncle Jack's worm in your mouth and you are reluctant to have my worm in your mouth. That makes me dang mad. I know I am not as good looking at Sheriff Danny Perkins but now I know I am better looking than my Uncle Jack."
"Oh Hestus, you know I wasn't horny to have your Uncle's worm in my mouth. We were halfway drunk and playing two man poker and he run the bet up. I thought I had the winning hand so I put on my IOU that I would suck his worm until it spit in my mouth. He accepted the IOU and I lost."
Hestus saw Thad Goodwood walk past the window of the Jailhouse. A second after that he saw Flint Bigfoot walk past the window. "We need to get Thad Goodwood and Flint Bigfoot to go on a fishing trip with us and get them into an IOU poker game. I'd like to see Thad and Flint have sex."
Lester Badly said, "Hell yeah. I know it is wrong to be a peeping tom but I've tried to catch them in action. They think no one knows they've been slipping around for secret time together."
"They even pretend they don't like one another."
"Oh, I know. When they are fighting and wrestling though, I can see the passion between the two."
"I've seen them head out of town at separate times and I have even tracked them to try to see if I can get where I can watch them worm swallowing or fanny fucking, but they are both good at covering their tracks."
Fully dressed, Sheriff Danny Perkins entered the office. He walked over to his desk and sat down. "What are you two saying about Flint and Thad?"
Lester Badly said, "How Flint and Thad sneak around to have sex?"
Hestus Longjohn said, "We were talking about how much we would like to watch them sucking each other's worms?"
Sheriff Danny Perkins shook his head. "What? They hate one another. They aren't having sex."
Lester took a drink of coffee. "Mr. Perkins, they just have you fooled into thinking they hate one another."
Sheriff Danny Perkins stood up. "No. Flint and Thad both have been trying to court Selma Stone. They are rivals for her affection. They aren't having sex with each other. They want to have sex with her."
Lester Badly said, "Gosh, Mr. Perkins. That is your problem. You think every man you meet has never had sex with another man. You believe all they think about is having sex with women."
Sheriff Danny Perkins said, "I hate to burst your bubble but most men prefer having their hard worm in lady business and not man business."
Hestus Longjohn said, "What men prefer and what men get are two different things. Of the 300,000 people in the entire state of Kansas I would guess single men out number single women by some large number to 1. Sometimes I'd like have me some lady business but unless I pay for it over at Mr. Pups I stand a better chance of having sex with Mr. Badly than with some church going single woman. And even if they were of a mind to take a fancy to me or men like me, oh my God, those church going women are by far more expensive than the women at Mr. Pups. For a little sex they want half of everything you own. They want to boss you around. They want to stop you from drinking. And you know the times you might want to spend with your friends, they always have something else they would rather you be doing."
Lester Badly said, "So basically you want to have sex with me because you consider me a cheap date without commitment issues."
Hestus Longjohn said, "Well, isn't that why you are even considering having sex with me. I am a cheap date without commitment issues." Hestus looked at Sheriff Danny Perkins. "Don't you think free man business is better than expensive lady business?"
Sheriff Danny Perkins said, "I am not going to be doing any business with you or Lester." Sheriff Danny Perkins put his hat on and exited the Sheriff's Office to patrol about town.
Hestus asked, "So Lester, when do you want to go on that fishing trip."
"Tomorrow."
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